things of little relevance

July 27, 2009, 12:01 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Guy friends rule

Frankly, I’m a little fed up with it. Some of the deepest, sweetest, most enduring friendships of my life have been with males. Men I went to college with, men I’ve toiled in crappy jobs with, men who stuck around long after I lost touch with the ex-girlfriends who introduced us. Guys who bartend. Guys who play in bands. Guys with black belts. Guys who make stuff with metal and soldering irons. Awesome fracking dudes. But does the radical notion of girl-on-guy friendship get its own greeting card, made-for-TV movie, or Styles section trend piece? Why do straight men so rarely get props for being good buddies?

It’s been exactly 20 years since Billy Crystal eradicated platonic relations, uttering the immortal proclamation in “When Harry Met Sally” that “Men and women can never be friends, because sex always gets in the way.” But Harry missed the point (for which his punishment was to wind up with Meg Ryan’s high-maintenance flibbertigibbet Sally). Sex doesn’t get in the way of male-female friendship — sex is just along the way. Even the most platonic of friendships smolder from time to time from the embers of attraction, and sometimes friends wind up becoming lovers (they often make the best ones). So what? Most rational adults can accommodate an array of feelings without acting on all of them. Even when they do, ex-lovers can wind up the tenderest of friends.

In addition to everything mentioned in the article, except for two or three female friends, the only people who love Spuyten Duyvil as much as I do also love women.


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