things of little relevance

tired of sex
October 26, 2009, 11:50 pm
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I suddenly remembered why I kept Fluxblog on my google reader. From “She Got Hot, They Did Not”:

Weezer “The Girl Got Hot”

I like late-period Rivers Cuomo because he’s basically like Martin Short in Clifford trying to make faces like a “human boy.” He is a deeply bizarre man who is going far out of his way to be “normal” and make music for “normal” people, but his attempts at banality are so affected and deliberately dumb that he comes off seeming much weirder than he would if he was writing total nonsense. The lyrics and music on Raditude are all signification and no meaning, and push the willful vacuity of his last few albums to an absurd extreme. Interestingly, the only tracks that outright fail on the album are the ones that display some degree of self-awareness, as in the dreadful club pastiche “Can’t Stop Partying” featuring Lil Wayne. This sort of thing can only work with a glassy-eyed, poker-faced commitment to ridiculousness, and that’s certainly in evidence on “The Girl Got Hot,” a cheery pop tune that comes across like a long-lost collaboration between Gary Glitter and The Gas Station Dogs.

“The Girl Got Hot” is about being out at a rock party and running into a girl who was homely in junior high, but has blossomed into a total babe. (If we’re operating on the logic of Hollywood, and it’s pretty safe to say that we are, she simply ditched her glasses for contact lenses. Whoa!) The interesting thing here — and a woman had to point this out to me — is that the scenario in the song is not at all a typical male fantasy, but it is something a lot of young girls imagine for themselves. That he makes a point of harping on the notion that all the other girls from school are now basically unfuckable hags only highlights the wish fulfillment aspect for insecure girls. It’s empty objectification, but a triumph all the same. There’s no subtext in this song, no perspective or criticism. It’s just “Hey, wow, the girl got hot! Awesome!,” and out. But the context adds some weight to this glorious fluff, because the whole time I just imagine this cable news ticker scroll in Rivers’ head reading “This is normal, right? Parties. Girls. Malls. Fun. Normal! Normal! Normal! Right?”

The song is really terrible but the analysis of Rivers Cuomo is so on point. Rivers Cuomo is one of my fallen childhood heartthrobs. RIP Rivers circa The Blue Album.

(Rivers during his celibate phase.)


the halloween that could have been
October 25, 2009, 10:01 am
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Three Halloween costumes that I will not be wearing this year but wish I were:

Winona Ryder in Reality Bites

Salome with the head of John the Baptist

Jean Seberg in Breathless (After last Halloween, I was planning to be this. But then you know, a year’s worth of news transpired, hipster grifter, etc…)

Also, Meat Loaf is absolutely epic! I forgot how much I loved Meat Loaf.

flagrant lies
October 22, 2009, 12:12 am
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Village Voice’s 2009 Best Grad Student Bar (via Juli)

1020 Bar

A pretentious dive bar? No, although the Ph.D. candidates at 1020 Bar will be more than happy to engage you about the ongoing debates in the humanities. Or they might just want to match you Jack for Jack. This is where the elite of Columbia University’s brainiacs come to unwind—the few, the poor, the all-but-dissertation—and they play a mean game of darts. Think you can’t discuss string theory after two rounds of sloppy pool and four Amstels? Well, neither can they, but it’s deliciously stupid to try. And you may have just learned this without shelling out for tuition, so who’s the smarty now?

Now this is just bad reporting. Anyone who’s been to 1020 knows that only law students, creepy GSers, and undergrads frequent 1020. Caveat: my statement is less true on weeknights and during daylight hours. Also, a sleazy man once used the line, “I don’t eat meat, but I do eat pussy,” on me at 1020.

apropos of my life
October 21, 2009, 10:01 pm
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“You Want a Social Life, with Friends” (via Jenny Davidson)

You want a social life, with friends.
A passionate love life and as well
To work hard every day. What’s true
Is of these three you may have two
And two can pay you dividends
But never may have three.

There isn’t time enough, my friends–
Though dawn begins, yet midnight ends–
To find the time to have love, work, and friends.
Michelangelo had feeling
For Vittoria and the Ceiling
But did he go to parties at day’s end?

Homer nightly went to banquets
Wrote all day but had no lockets
Bright with pictures of his Girl.
I know one who loves and parties
And has done so since his thirties
But writes hardly anything at all.

-Kenneth Koch

October 17, 2009, 6:54 pm
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“The simple peasants are good men, and good men the philosophers, at least what passes for philosophers in our time: strong and clear natures, enriched by a broad education in useful knowledge. The half-breeds who have disdained the first seat, ignorance of letters, and have not been able to reach the other—their rear end between two saddles, like me and so many others—are dangerous, inept, and importunate: these men trouble the world.” -Montaigne, “Of vain subtleties”

“All the problems of the world are caused by people who go to the 92nd Street Y and listen to NPR.” -Mark Lilla

but good god! people don’t do such things
October 15, 2009, 7:56 am
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October 13, 2009, 2:13 am
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The only sentence I have written for a 7-page paper due Thursday:

“Life is the upkeep of lies.”

Other deep thoughts by Lucy Tang:

A thesis is like a baby, if you drink too much during the months before April, then it will come out retarded!