things of little relevance

November 23, 2009, 12:19 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Nerve sends a professor of medieval literature to a Twilight screening. Hilarity ensues.

I am a professor of medieval literature. To me vampires signify the dubious inventions of that literary half-talent Bram Stoker or the evil grandpa-looking Nosferatu of the golden age of German silent cinema. And though I live only in the deepest recesses of European libraries, I have been told that there is a contemporary tome called Twilight and that it has resulted in some sort of stateside cultural hub-bub. Under normal circumstances, attending the premier of a film intended for shrieking teen girls would be the equivalent of volunteering for the cinematic torture in A Clockwork Orange. But these are lean times, and the world’s foremost universities aren’t exactly clamoring for scholiasts of Chaucer. So here I am, a sturgeon decidedly out of its intellectual water, swimming amok in the mass psychosis that is midnight screening of the opening of New Moon.

First of all, if you are a heterosexual male who claims he can’t meet women, there is no reason on earth why you should have skipped the film’s premiere last night. Despite the late hour and pouring rain, a line of women — mostly in their late teens, twenties and thirties — stretched around the block. Four sold-out theaters full of estrogen and popcorn and excitement, oh my. Sometimes too much excitement. As the movie began and the title card slowly (very, very slowly) appeared on the screen, two drunk girls next to me decided to rabble-rouse.

To be completely honest…do you really want to date a woman who is crazy about Twilight? Maybe it’s the repressed culture snob in me, but I don’t want to be friends with anyone obsessed with the vampire franchise. Also, is there a male equivalent of Twilight?


4 Comments so far
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“If I were a boy,” I wouldn’t be as freaked out by the fact that my girlfriend had cultural guilty pleasures (and as a woman, vice versa). We all have things we like to read and watch (4400, Lucy?) that no one else understands or that are lowbrow, if that even exists anymore.

However, there is something particularly fucked up about Twilight and it’s male-female relationships. I would be more worried about that.

Comment by Jamie

Hey. I love The 4400! It’s a quality television show.

Comment by Lucy

you’re not a repressed culture snob, you admitted to reading fleshbot.

Comment by Anonymous

Valuing science fiction over fantasy is its own kind of snobbery, I think. I am definitely guilty of that.

Comment by littleperegrination

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